First Year University Experience

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Apparently I’ve just finished my first year at university? I say apparently because I have no idea where those 9 months have gone, they have quite literally flown by. I didn’t really get off to the best start at university, don’t get me wrong, the first 3 months were amazing, but upon returning after the Christmas break it just went to absolute shambles. I missed home, my mental health was awful and I was just unhappy. Having said this, I’m in a much better place now, a few more months down the line, and I’m bloody excited for second year, I cannot tell you.

Here’s what my first year at university was like…it was an interesting one that’s for sure.

Halls – Halls are both the best and worse places to live. You’ll attend some of the best flat parties ever, and meet some of the best people, that’s the good part. The trouble started when people didn’t clean up after themselves and started taking my food. To be fair my flat mates weren’t terrible, but I’m pretty sure I was the only one that even touched the hoover the entire time we were living there, I must have been the only one that knew how to use a disinfectant wipe for the kitchen as well… Another thing that I never thought I’d have to deal with is someone taking my food, to be fair it was only tea and ketchup of mine that went walk abouts, but still, am not one for sharing any food, particularly my tea.

Money – Money wasn’t too big of a concern to me, as I had worked very hard the summer previous to save up enough to get me through it. What I wasn’t best pleased with is that I got the smallest amount of student loan, how any student is meant to live on that is beyond me. But I mustered through nonetheless, next year I plan on not being so protective over it, just spend it and enjoy myself, after all university will only happen once for me – I don’t want to look back on it and think, oh I wish I hadn’t been so tight and gone out more.

Freshers Week – I was the unfortunate one that got struck down with freshers flu within the first 4 days of moving in, so I only really enjoyed the first week. Freshers was an interesting one for me because I don’t drink a lot, I was always the one that people would come to in the morning to ask how much they had ruined their lives the night previous thanks to one too many cocktails.

Lectures – I absolutely loved my lectures, I think I may be the only student to ever say that? So I study Textile Design which is of course very practical, therefore it was always nice to have a lecture once or twice a week to shake things up. I struggled with sitting still for so long when I first joined, but I soon got used to it.

Friends – I have made some of the best friends at university, who I will definitely have for life. Like anything in life you’re never going to get along with everyone and this became apparent to me within the first couple of months, but this didn’t matter as long as I had my little group. Making friends I didn’t struggle with too much, I think this was down to me just faking my confidence and talking to literally everyone, had I not done this I’m sure it would have been a much different story.

My first year could have gone a lot better, but overall it was a massive learning curve, I now definitely know what I would/will be doing differently come September!

Any of you who have been to university, what was your first year experience like? This always interests me!

All my love,

Han.

Tips For Freshers

Somehow we’ve made it to that point in the year again where freshers week is just around the corner…how that came round I don’t know. But seeing as I moved out and embarked on my first fresehrs experience last year, I think it’s safe to say I learnt a thing or two throughout my first year; so here are a few tips if you’re counting down the days to fly the nest and begin your new chapter…

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Pack Sentimental Items – I’m 19 and I still have the same stuffed rabbit that I have had since I was born, no shame in saying that of course came with me to uni, along with plenty of photos of my favourite memories (and doggo, ofc). For me I moved very far away from home, so packing sentimental things really helped me to settle in and remind me of home.

Be Friendly to Everyone – and I mean everyone. Of course you’re never going to get along with everyone in life, but pretty much everyone is all in the same boat. Moving out for the first time, not knowing people, its all-very daunting. Speak to as many people as you can, and make as many new pals as you can. When I first moved into my flat, one of the first things I did was go and introduce myself to the other flats on my floor, turned out we all got along fairly well and went on many nights out together. So don’t be afraid to go and knock on the other flats and meet your neighbors!

Never Have I Ever…It’s a deadly game, but a great way to break the ice before a night out – it’s one of the best ways to get to know your new friends, a great laugh (this game had me in fits of laughter multiple times) and is definitely an ice breaker, I now have plenty of people walking round Leicester that know far too much about me!

Make The Most of Your Freedom – Make the most of freshers week, it’s the 2 weeks of the year you wont have the looming prospect of deadlines, early lectures and the worry of an emotional breakdown through stress. Alongside this, just make the most of everyday at university, my first year went by so quickly and I wish I had made more of the experience.

Explore the City – (Or town) – Chances are, if you’re reading this your moving away to a new place for the first time, when you get the chance in freshers week go and explore it! Within the first week of me being in Leicester I has sought out the best hot chocolate place and also the best place for porn star martinis…I think that more or less sums me up!

My first year was absolute shambles – break downs, break-ups, tears, self doubt, dropping out, the whole lot, I’ll probably do a post all about my experience at some point. But the most important thing is to just make the most of it because I will put money on you regretting it if you don’t!

All my love,

Han xx

 

Things Are Starting to Look Up…Finally

Things Are Starting to Look Up…Finally

I hate to exaggerate but the past 9 months have been the worst 9 months I’ve ever been through, and I’m bloody proud I pulled myself through them and made it out the other end! I started university, struggled with university, got into a toxic relationship, suffered with my mental health more than ever, this in turn effecting my physical health and well over all its been a car crash of a 9 months. But after plenty of tears, tantrums and me deciding I want to give everything up, and move myself to some remote country and be at one with the world having no stress or problems, I’ve finally (somewhat) got my shit together…for the time being anyway.

Here’s how things are starting to look up for me…

I’ve got myself a new job – I came back from university around April time and decided I wasn’t happy where I was originally working, so decided to do something about it. I got myself another waitressing job to keep me tired over while I’m not studying, at a local pub – I’ve never been happier at a job. I work with a lovely bunch of people, I’ve settled in scarily well, already feeling part of the team even after only being there for a couple of months.

Got out of a toxic relationship – When I started university I fell head over heels for a guy who I definitely shouldn’t have. I think this was one of the reasons I struggled so much when it came to settling in at university. The guy who I was with made me doubt a lot about myself, I lost a lot of confidence, and began to think I wasn’t good enough for anyone. It wasn’t until I arrived home from university that something just clicked in my head and I realised I could do so much better. I recently wrote a post all about the break up I went through which you can fine here, if you’re interested. Also, may I just add that since dropping the fuckboy, I’ve now found a guy who treats me well, texts me back and actually wants to take me out, so they do exist, and there is hope for us all, girls!

I have an exciting summer planned – This is the first year in a while that I’ve said a big fuck you to my anxiety and I’ve made some fairly exciting plans for the summer including festivals, days out, and holidays – all of which I am sure will make an appearance on the blog. That’s another thing, I finally got my booty back into gear and have got my blog back up and running, with a bit of a theme revamp, what do we think?! I neglected it for a while because the guy I was seeing would take the piss out of it…knob I know, the fact that he made me feel stupid for doing something I enjoy will forever anger me, but I’m onto bigger and better things now, boy bye.

I’m going back to university!!! – This is the one that I am most excited about, that I am going back to studying what I love. I went through a stage when my MH was particularly bad that I didn’t want to continue my degree, but since then I’ve realised that I’m bloody good at what I do and that if I love it that much its worth pursuing further. This time I vow to myself not to get involved with anyone toxic and to throw myself into everything. If I don’t do this, someone please shake me and force me to put myself out there more, kind regaurds.

Lastly, I’ve got my mojo back – I went through a period of being very unmotivated with everything, like I’m not exaggerating when I say that I literally wanted to do nothing. I lost my love for all my hobbies, drawing, running, socialising, knitting (I’m secretly an 80 year old) – the whole lot. I’ve recently got my motivation back for everything, I’m back to designing, loving my training, and I’m back doing my blog and social medias which I couldn’t be happier about. I’ve also got my personality back, which sounds stupid, but when all of this was going on I lost my sparkle, and sarcasm which is what I’m known for, but rest assured, sarcastic and sassy Han is back in full force.

I sincerely hope that I haven’t just jinxed everything and that I’ll wake up tomorrow with my life falling apart, I will not be a happy bunny. But for now, for the first time in a long time I’m very content and happy with my life and it’s a pretty fab feeling – I mean I’ll keep you updated if things change, but I bloody hope they don’t; if they could keep getting better that would be greatly appreciated.

All my love,

Han xx

A Little Life Update..

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So those of you who have been around for a while now will know that over the past few years my mental health has been all over the place. At the end of last year/start of this year, I suffered with it more than ever and lost interest in all the things I loved doing, which included blogging, YouTube, something I thought I would always enjoy. Not only this but I lost all my love for anything creative, running and even going out – I literally just wanted to stay in my flat all day.

Anyway, enough of the negative stuff, I just wanted to create a little post to say I am still here and recently I’ve started to feel so much better, and more myself than I have done in a long time – I’ve rekindled my love for all my creative talents and training, I’ve also found the motivation to get back into blogging and fingers crossed YouTube, providing I don’t chicken out of it again.

As I have mentioned in my previous posts, I dropped out of university, it got to the point where I couldn’t attend my lectures due to anxiety, wouldn’t even visit my friends. So I sort of came to the conclusion that getting a degree, wasn’t really worth sacrificing my mental health for. University will always be there for me to continue with later in life, if I have the urge to do so.

I’m going to take a slightly different approach to blogging for the time being, I want it as a record for me to look back on later in life, see what I was up to that kind of thing. There will still be the generalised fashion/beauty posts here and there, but for now it’s going to be much more lifestyle based, just while I ease myself back into it.

Another thing you might be wondering is, so if I dropped out, what am I doing now? I’m actually working full time, for the time being, with the aim of by this time next year I’ll have enough saved up to decide what I want to do with it. Whether that be traveling, or pursuing another qualification.

I hope you’re all well and I look forward to having a good catch up with all the posts I’ve missed out on in my absence!

Han xx

I’m Back…

I’ve been putting of writing this post for about three weeks now, but I thought it was about time I updated you all on my absence, and also what on earth I’m doing with my life – because all of a sudden it’s taken a complete 360 turn, which is incredibly exciting, yet equally terrifying.

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So I’ll start with the big bombshell, I’m dropping out of university. Yep, thats right, the girl who had her heart set on getting a degree since the age of about 5, is dropping out. I don’t think anyone – including myself saw that one coming. September last year, I started what I thought was what I wanted to get a degree in, Textile Design, but 6 months down the line, I’ve realised that maybe it isn’t for me.

Coming to terms with this, for me has been incredibly difficult, due to the fact I’ve always been the girl with a plan, yet all of a sudden I didn’t have a plan…this freaked the crap out of me.

I’m not sure what it is that I didn’t enjoy about my course, there was just something, and it didn’t feel right – I loved the work I was creating and I know it’s something I’m pretty good at, but I just wasn’t enjoying it; and thats okay. So while I’m still very young, with all my life ahead of me, I’ve decided to do something about it.

My interest within social media and the digital industry has grown massively since I started my little corner of the internet nearly a year ago, as it’s something I am passionate about and get  a lot of enjoyment out of – this is the pathway I am going to go down. Coming to terms with the fact that I want to go into full time work and not university has been a massive struggle for me – primarily because I was so worried about what people were going to think of me, particularly my parents. Turns out they aren’t disappointed about me dropping out, they just want me to be happy, and to do something I enjoy. That just leaves everyone else, which in reality, what they think really doesn’t matter to me – I’m currently learning to be a bit selfish and not let other peoples opinions affect my happiness…

So now I’ve rambled on about my all over the place life, I thought I’d quickly brush over the other aspect as to why I’m moving back home. As I’ve mentioned before on the blog, I was studying at De Montfort University, based in Leicester…I’m from Brighton, thats a very long distance for a newly turned 18 year old to move to. At the time I was 99.99% certain that I could cope with the move, turns out I wasn’t. After the initial excitement of living on my own had warn off, I began to suffer with my mental health – it was a downwards spiral from there really. Back home I had the comfort of talking to someone who understood me when I was going through a rough patch, but in Leicester I didn’t have that and dealing with it on my own just wasn’t happening, no matter how hard I tried.

Moving back home is definitely the right thing for me to do; I can’t tell you how excited I am for what the next few months hold, and if I ever had a change of heart and wanted to continue my degree in a few years time I can, just right now, it isn’t for me, which is completely and utterly fine.

Han xx

A Look Back At January

Okay but in all seriousness how many months did January drag on for???

January always feels like the longest month, but this year, I’m not sure what it is, but it feels like it has dragged on even more than usual – and I’m so over it. I am desperate for the spring and summer months, with warmer weather and blue skies. I feel like I haven’t seen the sun for months; summer can’t come quick enough.

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At the start of the January, I promised my self that every month I would reflect over what had happened and what I had achieved, just so in the future I can look back at it. Also on the bad days it’ll make me realise it isn’t always bad.

So after 3 weeks back home, I arrived back at university on January 4th, full of excitement to start the new term. Quickly this excitement disappeared and I went through a very rough patch with my mental health. It was the worst it had been since I moved out and learning to deal with it solely on my own was so hard. Although my parents are only a phone call away, it’s not quiet the same. Nonetheless a few weeks of feeling particularly bad, towards the end of January I’ve started to feel myself again. Multiple people have said it’s nice to have the sarcastic Han back, so I must be getting better. Something that I am particularly proud of is not caving in and giving my head what it wanted, which was for me to be incredibly miserable, I powered on through, didn’t go home, got through a fairly shit time and came out the other end, a lot happier as well.

In terms of university work, I’ve started a new project choosing to focus it all around psychedelia (my favourite subculture…after mods) and also a completely new module focussed on fabric and colour technology – it’s very sciencey. Surprisingly I love the science side, it’s something I’ve taken a particular liking too and I quite like the idea of studying it further after my degree. Last term I handed in 3 different modules, 2 practical and one essay and in January I got my grades back for all of these, grades that I was ecstatic with. I worked my butt off for all those had ins, which payed off as I received 2 1st grades and also a 2:1.

January also saw me book my flat for next year, a very adult thing to do…I still don’t feel old enough to be doing this! I made the right choice to book a shared flat, in a place 2 minutes from town and a short walk from university. It’s a completely new complex with a cinema, study room, cafe and a gym, perfect.

Lastly, January saw me finally get back into blogging. I had sort of said at the end of last year I had really ben struggling to keep up with blogging, university, running and a social life, which meant blogging took a bit of a back seat. But since the new year I’ve just set myself a goal for 1 blog post a week and so far, so good, I’ve stuck to it and for the first time I’m really happy with the content I’m putting out. This also shows in my blog views which have sky rocketed, so this month has been good for that also! I had my first blogger event of the year too, a Kiehl’s beauty event, which was so much fun. I was seriously thinking about not going because of my anxiety, but it’s stopped me doing too much over the past couple of years, so I forced myself to go and conquer my anxieties, I’m very glad I did, as I met some lovely bloggers and had a fab time!

January for the most part was fairly rubbish, but as it draws to a close it is starting to pick up again, I just hope it continues to do so! Here’s hoping February holds slightly less tears and more blue skies, that’ll make me very happy I’m sure!

Han xx

5 Things Every Student Must Do In 2018

University is a time for personal, social and academic growth, it’s the only time in your life where its acceptable for you to leave the house for a 9AM still in your pyjamas (apparently thats frowned upon in the adult world?). With only 3 years to make the most of the full university lifestyle, I’ve complied a list of things that I think every student must do in 2018.

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1. Have your own ‘Come Dine with Me’ dinner party.

Me and my flatmate have an unhealthy obsession with Come Dine with Me, with frequent discussions of what dishes we would cook up if we were to have our own. I think this would be great fun, taking it in turns to cook up your favourite student meals – I mean this could potentially end up with you having beans on toast for your main, but its all part of the fun right?

2. Try out a new society or club

Every year, most freshers events have a day where you can go along to campus and have a mooch at all the societies that the university have available. Not only will trying out something new teach you something you’ve never done before, but it will also introduce you to an entirely new group of friends and social activities. I found settling into university particularly hard, but since I have joined the pole fitness society, I’ve made a bunch of new friends and also have been invited to many social activities, all while doing something good for myself!

3. Go on a night out sober

Okay, this might sound like madness, but hear me out. Like any first year student, I’ve been on my fair share of nights out that involve cheap drinks, having said this I’m not actually a massive drinker, so I’ve also been on a few nights out completely sober and let me tell you they are just as good, if not sometimes better than the ones when I’ve been drinking. Not only will you remember everything from the night out, but you’ll also wake up hangover free, give it a go, you might surprise yourself.

4. Have an elaborate picnic on the university green

Most universities have their own green spaces for students to sit and relax (admittedly no one in their right mind is currently using them in January) but when it comes to summer, make use of them! Get a group of your pals together, all bring a different picnic style food and enjoy the sun and the campus!

5. Make friends with someone from another country

Preferably a country you’ve never met anyone from before – if not any country will do. Not only will this give you a new friend, but it will also allow you to learn a whole array of things about their country and culture that you may not have known – it will open your eyes to the world, I’m sure of it.

I could go on for ages about things that I think all students must do this year, university is a time where there is so much pressure to do well, that I think it is important to take time out for yourself and do things like this to enjoy yourself, as thats also what university is about. Your university experience is what you make it and its only 3/4 years, so make the most of it!

What things do you think all students should do this year?!

Han xx