Autumn Fashion Picks 2018

Autumn Fashion Picks 2018

I’ve recently been wanting to add to the design/fashion part of my blog, seeing as its what my degree is in and also what I love to chat about, it would be silly not to. So welcome to a new series of blog posts, where I’ll be picking out my favourite pieces/trends from that season, then basically doing what I do best and chatting about them. Like I say, I’m starting off by just making this a seasonal thing, but knowing me (I spend a lot of time looking at clothes), it may turn into a more frequent occurrence on the blog!

Taking a look at my little mood board from this month, I think it’s safe to say that animal print has really taken my fancy recently. If I’m completely honest when the whole animal print trend started popping up on the runways I fully hated it, I thought it looked tacky – not to mention it also reminded me of Cat Slater from EastEnders and I must say, thats not really the look I wanted to go for. But after seeing it absolutely everywhere it has grown on me massively – particularly this last month. I started seeing more and more of my blogger pals rocking the animal print and I thought maybe it was time for me to stop being so stubborn and give it a go; long and behold I bloody love it an am fully converted. Partly think I have Lauren from to thank for this, seeing as her Instagram is full of her rocking the leopard print trend, from jeans to shirts, you name it, she’s probably got it!

Animal print, particularly leopard print, can be quite a risky one and can very quickly become not so stylish but here are my top picks for this month. I’ll start with the leopard print co-ord, I’ve had my eye on this for the longest time, I just don’t think that being a broke student I can justify the spend…but then at the same time, think of the blog photos in it! I also popped on here a leopard print shirt, I’ve seen these in basically every high-street store over the past few months, I suppose when they are that forced upon you, you begin to like them. I really like the cut on this particular shirt, and also where it is a slightly longer shirt than the ones I have previously seen, it lends itself well to being tied, and styled differently. Then lastly, a couple of accessories that I have recently stumbled across, of course there’s a pair of boots – my all time weakness. This time snakeskin though to shake things up a bit – the perfect size heel, simply styled with black skinny jeans would look fab. Then lastly, the cross body snakeskin bag, which again took a while for me to actually like, but after a bit of convincing and sort of forcing myself to get on the trend, I think this may be my favourite animal print find, perfect accessory for a night out too.

I’m surprised that only 2 coats made it onto this months picks, seeing as coats and jackets are my absolute weakness. This month I’ve gone for a gorgeous faux fur coat, I’ve been after a faux fur coat for a while now, but in all honesty, I don’t quite know if I’m cool enough to rock one. Then a lovely longline Burgundy coat, I’ve had the same grey longline coat for about 2 years now, which is probably due replacing this season. when I saw this one on the Asos website, it looked like the perfect replacement. I like to have a coat that is slightly more for dressier occasions, and I find that my longline coats have served me well for this so far.

I’ve noticed that checkered prints have also been more or less in all of the shops recently, and I’ve taken a particular liking to checkered dungaree dresses (again am I cool enough to pull them off…who knows) but I recently came across this one, I absolutely love that they’ve paired it with a mustard shirt underneath, the colours scream autumn!

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A couple of more ‘dressy’ items that I’ve had my eye on – starting with the wide leg jumpsuit. Again something that I have been after for a while, but having quite a small frame, I tend to find that they just swamp me – although I am tempted to give this one a go, chuck on a pair of heels and a nice jacket, I recon we could make it work. Then this gorgeous dress, which would be perfect for some fancy event (if only I got invited to those). I’m a lover of a good dainty print, and think this print works particularly well on this dress, seeing as its quite a floaty number, anything bigger would have distracted from its cut.

Then lastly, it wouldn’t really be a fashion post from me if I didn’t include something red. As I was scrolling through the new in section on the TopShop website, I came across the most gorgeous pair of patent red boots, which just had my name written all over them. It’s not a want, it’s a need. 

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So that concludes my first seasonal picks post, I have link all of the items throughout incase there is something that takes your fancy. I’m sure this will start to become a regular section on the blog seeing as 1, I’m a bit of a shopaholic and 2, I’m getting a fashion degree.

Which quickly leads me onto a question for you all, so I’ve briefly touched upon my degree when blogging before, but this year I’m specialising in knitwear, and I want to document my journey/design process/top knit pics (try saying that quick) etc throughout, would this be something you’d all be interesting in reading about too?? All fashion related still, just taking a more direct look into knitwear!

Anyway, hope you have all enjoyed,

All my love,

Han xx

A Look Back At Summer 2018

Although Autumn is well and truly here, I’m still trying to grip onto the last of summer. I absolutely hate the cooler months, there’s nothing appealing about colder and darker days, no thank you. Summer 2018 was probably one of my best ones yet, I had some fab experiences and met some lovely people along the way, so I though with the season slowly slipping away I’d compile my best memories from summer 2018, because I think it was one to remember.

I’ll start with Truck Festival, the only festival I attended this year – note to self, attend more next year! I had an absolute blast at Truck – I got early bird tickets this year, which meant that come the Monday I’ve never needed a shower more, and my hair was extremely gross, but it was the best time. I spent the 4 days with a group of my friends, then of course like you do at most festivals we made pals with the surrounding camps ending up with a huge group of us day drinking and singing at the top of our lungs! The weather was on our side and I also got to see a load of my favourite bands. Not to mention the endless amounts of glitter and highlight I got to use, I was in my absolute element.

The last 2 weeks of ‘summer holidays’ I spent in Devon with my family, our first family holiday in about 3 years. With Devon being one of my favourite places ever, I didn’t want to leave come the end of August, even despite the crappy weather! I did keep up to date with blog posts while I was there chatting about what I was up to, so if you’re interested, you can find them here!

Typical 19 year old thing to enjoy, but this summer I finally started going on a lot more nights out. When I turned 18 I kind of missed out on the whole clubbing thing, mainly because of my anxiety and I had also recently got into a relationship. But come summer, I was overcoming my anxiety day by day (something I’m immensely proud of) and also I was out of that relationship…soooo summer 2018 consisted of many nights out in which I proper enjoyed myself. I never thought I’d be one for going out a lot and being mega social, but this year after overcoming a lot of my mental health struggles, I pretty much feel like a new person when it comes to going out!

When I came back from university in March, I also got myself a new job, working as a waitress in a restaurant and I bet it’s not often you hear people say this about their part time work, but I bloody loved it. I met some of the best people, made friends for life, and actually enjoyed myself whilst doing it! Granted I did smash a few things, drop a few drinks and I’m pretty sure I’ve dropped a whole plate of food as well, but that’s no shock to anyone!

This is a bit of a cringe one, but this summer I’ve finally felt happier again. Over the past year I really struggled with my mental health with there being some days that I literally saw no light, but long and behold a few months down the line I’ve never been happier. I can honestly say, hand on my heart that as it stands at the moment, I’m happier than I’ve been in a very long time. So if anything thats my highlight of this summer!

Lastly, moving back to Leicester. If you have been following my blog for a while now, you will know that I attend university in Leicester, but at the beginning of the year I had decided I wasn’t going back (it’s a long story, you can read a post on in here) but long and behold, I came back. I’m so proud of myself for doing so as well, I knew deep down I was destined to be at university studying what I love, I just needed to realise that!

Anyway that concludes summer 2018, I’ve had the best time and I’ve really noticed a difference in myself and how much I’ve changed over the past few months. I have high hopes for the rest of 2018 and 2019 of course!

What have been your best highlights of summer??

All my love,

Han xx

Autumn/Winter Bucket List 2018

After the hottest summer on record, the weather is finally starting to take a slightly cooler turn – which I’m not too happy about as I love summer and hot weather. But in light of keeping positive and making the most of the colder months, I’ve complied some things that I can’t wait to do throughout autumn and winter (mainly to try and get me somewhat excited for the colder weather; incase you couldn’t tell, I’m not).


  1. Ice Skating. I absolutely love ice skating and its the one thing that I wish I had picked up as a child. I’m so in awe of anyone who can figure skate, but unfortunately there isn’t an ice rink near me to even attempt to learn. So I just stick to going to the little pop up ice rinks in either Brighton or Leicester and spending most of the hour slot looking like Bambi on ice – it’s quite amusing to watch, I always have such a laugh when I go with my friends or family.
  2. Pumpkin carving. This is something that will forever remind me of being a child. I can’t say that I am the best at carving pumpkins because I’m slightly very cack handed. Although, that being said, I won the pumpkin carving competition between my flat mates last year; is that an acceptable achievement for the CV?
  3. Long walks. On the days that I’m not training, I still like to get out and get active normally by going for long walks, but I enjoy these all the more in winter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m much more of a summer lover, but when it comes to exercising in either 20 degree heat, or 8 degrees, I know which one I’d rather. I also love the colours around me during autumn, which is much more appreciated when I get myself out for walks.IMG_0077
  4. Christmas movies. I normally hate sitting down and watching movies, I get very easily distracted, that or either I fall asleep. But Christmas movies are my absolute fave and I cannot wait to snuggle up in my duvet with a hot chocolate and watch Christmas with the Kranks for the 74362648th time! Lowkey not even ashamed that I could probably recite that film word for word.
  5. Bonfire night. This is an odd one for me, because anyone who knows me will know that I am absolutely petrified of loud noises – like I won’t even be in the same room as a balloon, still cover my ears when sirens go past, that kind of scared. So I have never properly been to a fireworks display; you can guess that probably would be my worst nightmare. But when I attended truck festival a couple of months ago, The Courteeners finished their set with fireworks – with them being my favourite band I straight up refused to cover my ears and panic, and just embrace it. Therefore I’m absolutely buzzing to test my fear again and go to a firework display in November! IMG_0346
  6. Decorating. I have to be careful when it comes to decorating in my flat, because the rules of halls tend to be quite strict, but I am so excited to get some taky af tinsel, drape it all around the living room and kitchen while I have Mariah Cary on full blast and force the festivities onto my flatmates. I’m sure they’ll all love me.
  7. Christmas markets. I absolutely love Christmas time, and Christmas markets are some of my favourite things to go to. I went to one in Lincoln with my friends last year and it was so cute, I had the time of my life. But this year I want to try and go to some more, I’ve heard that the ones in Birmingham are always good, but if any of you have any suggestions about good Christmas markets, be sure to tell me! IMG_0593

I’m desperately trying to get myself somewhat excited for the colder months, but its proving a struggle, I’m just hoping this list of things will keep me going! What are you most excited about for autumn/winter?!

All my love,

Han xx



Ultimate Fake Tanning Routine

Ultimate Fake Tanning Routine

It’s no secret I’m a lover of fake tan, ever since my first spray tan for a beauty pageant when I was 13, I’ve been hooked. I have a very pale complexion – think Casper the ghost pale – and fake tan is sort of like my make up I guess, definitely my personal confidence booster.

It’s not uncommon to see beautifully bronzed models on Instagram and be envious of their lovely golden glow. Although there are a million and one ways of achieving this lovely glow, some of them aren’t as safe as others. For example sitting in the sun with no SPF on to catch a tan is probably the worst mistake you can make. Although you’ll look lovely and golden for a few weeks, its extremely damaging to your skin in the long run. Theres also sun beds, dont even get me started on these, in my eyes your just ruining your skin, the one thing you can’t really change about yourself – so why damage it? Therefore, fake tan, I believe is the most safest, not to mention quickest, way to fake tan.


Over the years I’ve had my fair share of tanning disasters, Oompa Loompa hands; Oompa Loompa face for that too, patchy tan, streaky tan, orange eyebrows, you name the disaster, I’ve probably been through it. But I’d like to think that me experiencing these, nightmares (not to exaggerate but waking up orange is my worst nightmare), means that other people won’t have to. So in this blog post I’ll be sharing my best ways to prep, apply and maintain a healthy looking glow.

Before I go onto the products I use, it’s so so important to prep your skin before hand, particularly if you want an even tan that will also last. The day before I’m scheduled to tan (yes it is scheduled), I have that bath, full body shave, exfoliate, scrub every last dead skin cell away and leave the bath feeling like a new woman – also important to use a nice rich moisturiser after to make sure your skin is as soft as possible. I normally reach for my vitamin E scrub, with a scrubbing mitt, then onto a Body Shop moisturiser.

A lot of people tend to shave/exfoliate the day/evening of when they tan. But I have always been told it is best to do this they day before, from the professionals, so this is what I go by and it always seems to work. The evening of the big event, I tend to jump in the shower, make sure my skin is clean, then apply a thin layer of light moisturiser. This is quite important because you want to put something on your skin that is absorbed quickly and isn’t too think – if you apply tan onto skin that has moisturiser on that hasn’t soaked in, chances are it won’t set.

Moving on to the exciting part. So, I’ve tried so many tanning products over the past few years, and if I’m completely honest most of them have served me well – the only ones that have never served me well, are gradual tanning moisturisers, I always steer well clear of these, unless I want to wake up looking like I’ve rolled in wotsits. After lots of trial and error I have found my 2 go to tans, I like to call one my pre student loan tan, and one my post student loan tan.


We’ll start with my pre student loan tan. Basically my cheaper option. If I don’t want to pick up a more expensive tan, I always go for the St Moritz dark tan, it is a brilliant dupe for Bondi sands tan – colour wise, its exactly the same. It’s brilliant for a quick fix dark tan, the only thing that I don’t majorly rate about the St Moritz is that it doesn’t seem to last that long on my skin – I’m still not entirely sure why this is, but for the price, its absolutely amazing.

Now moving onto my post student loan tan. Or, just the slightly more expensive tan. The Bondi Sands dark, or ultra dark – is my holy grail tan, it gives me the perfect colour, and lasts a long time. Being a gym bunny, this means I tend to shower twice a day, so finding a tan that doesn’t come off within a couple of days proved fairly difficult, but I have to say this one withstands the test.

When it comes to application of the tan, I always make sure I’m in a naturally well lit area, with a full length mirror. I’ve tried tanning without a mirror before (like some odd challenge) but it’s never ended well. I apply from my legs upwards in circular motions, doing my knees, elbows and ankles very lightly – these are the areas that tan tends to cling to, giving you the uneven look no one wants. Before I wait for my tan to dry, I just have a quick look in the mirror, do some weird body contortion moves just to make sure I’ve not missed any areas.

I’ll quickly touch upon my face, because no amount of tanning experience will ever give me the confidence to tan my face straight from the bottle. Therefore I use the St Tropez dark face tan, which comes out like a moisturiser, and I personally find so much easier to apply to my face. I just squeeze a pea size amount onto my hand, then apply to my face in circular motions. I find this gives me the perfect sun kissed look on my face, looking like I’ve spent the week on Morocco, shock, I haven’t.

Now onto the bit that took me ages to perfect which is maintaining my tan. Having a tan that lasts, is partly down to the quality of the tan you get, you get what you pay for. I’ve found the more expensive the tan, the longer it tends to last. But along the way I’ve found some little tips that really do help maintain your tan. Moisturiser is you best friend. Every time you get out the shower, moisturise like theres no tomorrow – not only will it make your skin silky smooth, but I’ve also found that it really does help your tan last, and will really help to prevent your tan going patchy, that tiger bread look isn’t a good look on anyone. Also, when leaving the shower, pat yourself dry with the towel. This is something I always have to remind myself because I tend to just use a towel like any normal person, but after taking a little bit more time to just pat yourself dry, this will prevent your tan being scrubbed off.

Hope you have enjoyed this little tanning guide and some of my top tips. If you’re new to fake tanning, I hate to be the barer of bad news but you probably aren’t going to be a fake tan whizz over night. It will take some practice, a couple of patchy jobs, and maybe one morning waking up looking like an Oompa Loompa – but practice makes perfect! If you’re a fake tan addict like myself, what are your favourite tanning products that you would recommend?!

All my love,

Han xx


The One Where We Went To Friends Fest


Some know it as Friends Fest, some know it as a day where I spent the entirety of it quoting different scenes and probably annoying quite a few people, sorry not sorry.

Friends Fest, if you haven’t heard of it (have you been living under a rock), is basically massive outdoor convention for die hard Friends fans. And anyone that knows me, will know I fit into that category very well, so of course I jumped at the chance when my Mum offered to take me with her!


I wanted to create a little post about my day at the convention, mainly because I have about a million and one photos from the day of me posing awkwardly with iconic props – and as much as I love Instagram, I’m not sure my followers would appreciate me posting a different Friends Fest picture everyday for the rest of the year! I also vlogged the whole day, so feel free to check that out also!

In all honesty I had no clue what to expect from Friends Fest, I had just seen pictures of it, and knew that it was something I needed to do, so when Mum and I found out that it was coming to Brighton, It would have been a missed opportunity to turn it down as it was right on our door step. Despite me not really knowing what to expect, the whole day was absolutely brilliant and I couldn’t recommend it enough to anyone who loves a bit of Friends!

I didn’t know until I arrived that it was an entirely outdoor convention, so Mum and I were incredibly lucky that the weather was on out side during our visit because I don’t think posing for photos in the rain would have been much fun. Friends Fest has all of the iconic set ups for you to wander round and if you’re like me, fan girl over. So we of course wandered round all of the photo opportunities, with me smiling like a mad woman in 90% of them because I’m so happy. This may sound so stupid, but when you’ve watched the show for as long as I have it’s so odd to see the set in real life – it also seemed so much bigger?! Either that or I’m just tiny, who knows.

After taking hundreds of pictures, we made our first quick pit food stop. There were an array of food stalls at the festival, all Friends related of course. We had Phoebe’s Veggie Van (perfect for all my fellow veggies), and a Joey’s Pizza Van, alongside some other american-esc food stalls. As much as I wanted to try out Phoebes’ Falafel Salad, it would be rude of me not to try Joeys Pizza, as we all know how iconic that is! So that was my lunch sorted, classic margarita, and let me tell you, it was the best slice of pizza I have ever tried – and I have tried a lot of pizza. Also not to mention it was pretty much the size of my face!!! What more could a girl want.

Of course it would be rude not to take a trip into Central Perk and grab a coffee (or in my case a hot chocolate because I still have the tastebuds of a 5 year old). It literally felt like I was in an episode of Friends at this point, sat in Central Perk, hot chocolate in hand, and a Phoebe impersonator sat at the front singing all other iconic songs, Smelly Cat being my personal fav. I have to say the atmosphere of the cafe was brilliant, they really did make you feel like you were living in a friends dream. I also got to sit on the iconic orange sofa, which again is massive, but I suppose when you have to fit 6 people on there, it must be big!

Whilst we waited for our tour we also grabbed a cheeky Friends themed cocktail, which was not only delicious, but very strong, it doesn’t take much for my legs to go a bit jellyish, and this took me halfway there. I had the time of my life sat in a massive field, in front of a big screed with continuous Friends Episodes playing on it, sipping a Chan Chan Man cocktail, if you know, you know!

Then lastly to round off our fun filled Friends experience (wow thats a mouthful), we had our set tour, which was what I was most excited about! We got to see the exact replicas of all 3 flats, sit in Joey and Chandlers iconic chairs, look at Phoebes real guitar, sit in Monica’s pristine kitchen and look at all of Ross’s palaeontology stuff. About to sound very stupid again, but it looked so real! (Well duh, it was the actual set). But when you watch it on telly then see it in real life its so cool! It was amazing, I didn’t get too many pictures of the actual set, so if this is something you are wanting to see, head over to my YouTube channel and take a look at the vlog, because that’s in there!

Of course a trip to Friends Fest wouldn’t be complete without a trip to the gift shop, where I spent far too much money on merch – consisting of a Friends Fest Tour T-Shirt, a replica of Huggsy to sit on my uni bed, a tote bag and a key ring – I need to learn the art of self control because I have none when it comes to shopping, particularly if its Friends Themed!

Overall I had such a fab day, and thank you to my Mum for brining me along with her and putting up with me constantly saying ‘ooo quick get a picture of me’ every 5 minutes! If you are a lover of Friends I couldn’t recommend this day enough, as far as I’m aware it’s nearly over for this year, but I think it is a yearly thing, so definitely get tickets; I know I’ll be going again next year!

All my love,

Han xx

Goals For My Second Year at University

Goals For My Second Year at University

So I can’t quite believe the time has finally come for me to write this post – it only seems like yesterday that my parents were dropping me off at university and leaving me to fully fend for myself. While first year was jam packed, full of ups and downs, I want to make second year all the more better. I missed out on a fair bit during my first year of university, which just means that this next year I’ve got a lot of making up to do, something I am most excited about. I thought I’d set myself a list of (realistic-ish) goals for the next academic year, then look back on them at the end of the year and see how well I’ve done!

1. Good grades. I’ll start with the slightly more academic thing, and probably the thing that most students would say, but I want to keep up my good grades. Throughout first year I managed to get very high grades, something that I am super proud of, and something that I definitely want to keep up – not just through second year, but through the rest of my degree too! 

2. Visit more exhibitions. Leicester has a very direct train route to London (and other big cities), which I didn’t realise until a lot later in the year. London is one of my favourite places to visit, full of galleries, museums and interesting streets. It’s also perfect for an arty student like me, as it never fails to get my creative cap on and generate a bunch of new design ideas. 

3. Visit surrounding areas. Like I mentioned previously Leicester has direct train routes to so many other interesting cities, ones that I would really like to aim to get down to this year. It’s closely linked with Birmingham, Nottingham, Manchester etc, all places I think would be really interesting for an art student like myself. 


4. Make the most of freshers. Last year I really didn’t throw myself into freshers, mainly because I came down with the dreaded freshers flu 4 days after moving in, but I also held back due to my anxiety. I’ve promised myself this year that I wont let that effect my experience (at least try not to), and really make the most of it this year. It’ll be a big fuck you to my anxiety if I can really push myself. 

5. Join a society. This is something I majorly regret not doing last year! Like most universities, DMU has hundreds of really interesting societies and for some bizarre reason I joined none last year. So this year, I’m going to join one. I feel like if I say I’m going to do it, I now kind of have to. I’m a very sporty person, so I’m hoping to get involved in a sports society – it’s another great way to making a new bunch of friends, and getting the chance to experience something completely new. 

6. Get a job?? I put a question mark here, because truth be told, I don’t actually know if I’ll have time for a job, but I do want to try and get something part time. Just weekend probably, but it’ll keep my busy, take me away from uni work occasionally, which I think is important – mainly to keep me from going insane! It’ll also make my bank account slightly happier, can’t say its ever best pleased when my rent or other bills come out.

7. Continue doing the things I love. So alongside getting my degree in textiles, which of course goes without saying, I love. I want to make sure I still make sure I create time for the other things I enjoy that aren’t academic. For example going to the gym/running, tattoo design, crocheting and of course, blogging and YouTube! I think its important to not get so caught up in your degree that you forget to do the things you love. I know that its important for me to sometimes have a break from all things textiles, something that I definitely need to put into practice more in second year.

I think thats a reasonable list, nothing too drastic on there, but all things I think will make my second year much more enjoyable than my first. I’ll be sure to do a little look back at this post next year to see if I have completed them all – that is unless I fail miserably at them all, but lets not  think about that. If you’re heading back to university, what are your goals? Or even if you aren’t heading back to university, what are your up and coming goals? 

All my love, 

Han xx 

At Look Back At 18…

At Look Back At 18…

Hey guys, welcome back! So on Wednesday the 29th, I finally turned 19 (which I vlogged!! Feel free to check it out here!)  – being an end of August baby it’s been long awaited. Since turning 18 last year I’ve been through plenty of ups and downs, so I thought it would be nice to look back on and for me to see how far I’ve come – seeing as I’ve had multiple people tell me I’m a different person now than to what I was this time last year!

Like I mentioned previously I’m an end of August baby, so by the time I had turned 18 all of my friends had had the experience of going out and learnt to handle their drink slightly better…I can’t say the same for myself – the second day of being 18 was spent very hungover, thanks to Slug and Lettuce 2-4-1, and also birthday celebrations meant all my pals were keeping me topped up. I was determined to make 18 a good one…but not to be a negative Nora it went down just as quickly as it started to pick up unfortunately.

I then proceeded to start university about 2 weeks after turning 18 and let me tell you the first 2 months of university were the best 2 months I’ve ever had. Socials, making friends and doing something I loved – I was quite literally having the time of my life, my anxiety was practically non-existent alongside other mental health illness, and I felt like a completely new me! But this all changed when I met a guy…how many times have we all heard this..

I don’t want to dwell on my now ex too much, he doesn’t deserve the time of day, but put politely he was a knob. I don’t need to tell you what he put me through – it’s enough for me to just tell you that my mental health took a turn for the absolute worst, he made me feel bad for going out with all my friends and generally being social (even though thats a normal thing for university students), all in all he made the time together for me an absolute nightmare. Oh and he cheated, did I mention that? Something I regret massively is not leaving it all sooner because I would have then made the most of first year, but we cant turn back the clock, so I’ll just make up for it in second year. But one thing that that pathetic excuse for a relationship taught me, is that if he’s not treating you the way you know you should be treated, just leave, don’t think you can change him, because you can’t. As hard as that is to hear.

Quickly moving on from that, I ended up leaving university in March because my mental health got so bad that I needed to be at home. I had got it into my head that I wasn’t going to go back to university. But no one was shocked to hear me say that in June I wanted to go back, when your as passionate about something as I am about my degree, you’re bound to end up back there getting it. Sooooo…I start year 2 in 2 weeks time, how exciting, I’m going to promise to make this year a good one and make up for everything that I missed out on last year, I think I deserve to have a bit of fun!

While being 18 I’ve had some real lows with my mental health, I suffered more so than ever, which was hard for a lot of people to see – especially as I was straight up refusing to get any sort of help. The tables turned though, when I was admitted to hospital with bad heart palpitations. Heart palpitations are something that aren’t foreign to me, but when my anxiety is bad, thus effects my heart, and one night it just went into overdrive. Despite it being nothing serious, it properly shook me up, so as soon as I could I booked myself into the doctors. Although they weren’t much help (I literally walked in, opened up to my doctor, told him everything and got sent away with a bloody leaflet), I feel like that was the first step in me making a choice to get better. It’s been a bumpy old ride since, but at the moment I’m feeling better than ever, of course I still get bad days, I will for the rest of my life, but these bad days aren’t all the time now, and when they are bad, I know exactly how to manage them. My Dad has been my biggest help when dealing with my mental health, I honestly don’t think I would be here without his help – but one thing that he has drilled into my head this year, is that life isn’t linear, you have to experience being low, to know what it feels like to be happy, and that is so true. He’s also told me multiple times to pull my self together, which occasionally is all I need to hear, so thank you Dad.

Lastly, I’ve made some of the best friends, and memories (mainly throughout summer) since being 18. Starting university has given me life long friendships, as well as starting a new job. I vowed to myself at the beginning of summer to have good one, and boy did it not disappoint, giving me memories to look back on and laugh at. I’m in a good place at the moment, and 19 looks fairly promising. So, heres to being 19.

PS. Future Han, if you’re reading this and having a bit of a down day, just remember how far you’ve come, you’ve got this gal.

All my love,

Han xx