Why I’ve Stopped Apologising

I think as a generation, we are all guilty of apologising for things that are completely out of our control and things that we just shouldn’t be saying sorry for. I can’t be the only one who has said sorry after someone has walked into me when out in public before? Or apologising turning up to work with no make up on? 

My boyfriend recently pointed out that I constantly apologise for things I don’t need to apologise for, sorry has always been a popular word in my vocabulary and it wasn’t until people started pointing it out that I was like, actually, I don’t need to be apologising for these things. I’m not saying never say sorry, if you’re wrong or you’ve upset someone, then apologising probably is the right answer. This year I want to make a conscious effort to not say sorry for silly things. Here are a few things which I’m always saying sorry for, when theres no need for me to. 

Apologising About My Appearance 

This is one of my worst traits, turning up to work or for a coffee with friends and apologising because I have no make up on or haven’t brushed my hair today. Why am I apologising for the way I look? My friends don’t care and if they did, fuck em. Instead of saying sorry, I want embrace the fact that I have gone to meet my friends without doing my make up and enjoy the fact it’s taken me half the time to get ready. If I want to leave the house with hair that hasn’t been washed in three days, then I will do just that and enjoy every second of it! We live in a toxic society in which we are conned into thinking we must look perfect every second of the day, when in actual fact the reality is far from that. 

Apologising Because I Want To Stay In 

Suffering with my mental health, sometimes I get days where I just don’t want to leave the house, granted they’re few and far between, but when they arise I always feel so guilty if I have to cancel plans. I apologise for weeks on end and it ends up being all I think about. As I started to realise that my friends would rather me take care of myself and get myself better, I became a lot happier. Just because I said no to going for a few drinks one Friday, doesn’t mean that they’re going to stop being friends with me. 

Apologising For How I Feel 

Another one that I really struggled with was apologising after telling someone how I feel. I’ve been in manipulative friendships before that just weren’t beneficial for my mental health and after expressing how I felt I still continued to apologise!

It’s important to remember that your feelings come before anything, if someone isn’t bringing positivity and happiness to your life, cut them out. Don’t feel bad whilst doing it either. 

Apologising For Taking Me Time 

I’m making a conscious effort for taking time out for myself. Whether it’s having an evening reading or a day out at the shops. Occasionally I need a day just to myself, to be a bit selfish and that isn’t a bad thing, its healthy. You can’t constantly be busy and social, it get draining. 

The applied for taking some time away from your phone and emails. You don’t need to reply to that text as soon as it comes through, whatever it, most the time it can wait. 

Apologising For Being Right 

And finally, apologising for being right. This is something that I struggled with growing up too. Whenever I was right in class I would always apologise afterwards because for some bizarre reason I thought I couldn’t be right. An odd way of thinking. However slowly I am getting there with making sure that instead of apologising for being right, I embrace it and feel good about it!

It’s important to take a step back and think about what it is you are actually apologising for, does it really warrant saying sorry? Fair enough if you are in the wrong and need to hold your hands up to something, but saying sorry for how toy feel or being right? Thats not happening in 2020! 

Han x

One thought on “Why I’ve Stopped Apologising

  1. I completely agree!! Sorry is in my vocabulary so much and I do it more when I’m nervous or not sure how to react!! I’m making a conscious effort to only apologise when it is actually needed. Hope you’re doing okay xx
    Im // theimlife.co.uk


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