I thought seeing as Valentines day has not long passed this was the perfect time for this post. Something that I thought quite a lot growing up and probably until I got into my first ‘proper’ relationship, is that once you’re in a relationship, your independence vanishes. I think it’s always been quite a common misconception, that in order to be a strong, independent woman, you must be single. And I’m here to tell you, that’s completely untrue.
Being in a relationship, does not mean that as a woman you loose all independence; that is if you don’t let it. It shouldn’t take away your aspirations to do well, it shouldn’t hold you back from anything is what I’m trying to say.
The biggest misconception is that you have to do everything together as a couple. Everywhere you go, every weekend, every event, you’re go together. Even for a long time at the start of my relationship I still thought this was true. It wasn’t until we both changed jobs that we started to spend less time together and I realised that actually, having a bit of independence in a relationship is SO important, I can’t stress that enough.
We both quickly came to learn that actually, spending a bit of time apart during the week strengthened our relationship and makes the time we do spend together even more valuable. We do things together, but we also make sure we do things on our own. Whether thats him spending the day with his friends, or me spending some time out to work on my blog – finding that balance in a relationship is key to making it a successful one.
Another thing which I thought for a long time was that I had to let my partner know what I was doing all the time, just to make sure he was okay with it. And wow, I couldn’t be more wrong! When it comes to making decisions and deciding what it is you want to do, ultimately that is your choice and no one else’s. I mean, I still go to him when I need advice on big decisions, but day to day things, thats for me to decide.
Being in a relationship should change nothing about you. You should both understand that you need your own time as well as time together and you should both be accepting of this. It shouldn’t affect your ability, goals or voice. You’re still that independent woman you were before you got into that relationship!