I hate to exaggerate but the past 9 months have been the worst 9 months I’ve ever been through, and I’m bloody proud I pulled myself through them and made it out the other end! I started university, struggled with university, got into a toxic relationship, suffered with my mental health more than ever, this in turn effecting my physical health and well over all its been a car crash of a 9 months. But after plenty of tears, tantrums and me deciding I want to give everything up, and move myself to some remote country and be at one with the world having no stress or problems, I’ve finally (somewhat) got my shit together…for the time being anyway.
Here’s how things are starting to look up for me…
I’ve got myself a new job – I came back from university around April time and decided I wasn’t happy where I was originally working, so decided to do something about it. I got myself another waitressing job to keep me tired over while I’m not studying, at a local pub – I’ve never been happier at a job. I work with a lovely bunch of people, I’ve settled in scarily well, already feeling part of the team even after only being there for a couple of months.
Got out of a toxic relationship – When I started university I fell head over heels for a guy who I definitely shouldn’t have. I think this was one of the reasons I struggled so much when it came to settling in at university. The guy who I was with made me doubt a lot about myself, I lost a lot of confidence, and began to think I wasn’t good enough for anyone. It wasn’t until I arrived home from university that something just clicked in my head and I realised I could do so much better. I recently wrote a post all about the break up I went through which you can fine here, if you’re interested. Also, may I just add that since dropping the fuckboy, I’ve now found a guy who treats me well, texts me back and actually wants to take me out, so they do exist, and there is hope for us all, girls!
I have an exciting summer planned – This is the first year in a while that I’ve said a big fuck you to my anxiety and I’ve made some fairly exciting plans for the summer including festivals, days out, and holidays – all of which I am sure will make an appearance on the blog. That’s another thing, I finally got my booty back into gear and have got my blog back up and running, with a bit of a theme revamp, what do we think?! I neglected it for a while because the guy I was seeing would take the piss out of it…knob I know, the fact that he made me feel stupid for doing something I enjoy will forever anger me, but I’m onto bigger and better things now, boy bye.
I’m going back to university!!! – This is the one that I am most excited about, that I am going back to studying what I love. I went through a stage when my MH was particularly bad that I didn’t want to continue my degree, but since then I’ve realised that I’m bloody good at what I do and that if I love it that much its worth pursuing further. This time I vow to myself not to get involved with anyone toxic and to throw myself into everything. If I don’t do this, someone please shake me and force me to put myself out there more, kind regaurds.
Lastly, I’ve got my mojo back – I went through a period of being very unmotivated with everything, like I’m not exaggerating when I say that I literally wanted to do nothing. I lost my love for all my hobbies, drawing, running, socialising, knitting (I’m secretly an 80 year old) – the whole lot. I’ve recently got my motivation back for everything, I’m back to designing, loving my training, and I’m back doing my blog and social medias which I couldn’t be happier about. I’ve also got my personality back, which sounds stupid, but when all of this was going on I lost my sparkle, and sarcasm which is what I’m known for, but rest assured, sarcastic and sassy Han is back in full force.
I sincerely hope that I haven’t just jinxed everything and that I’ll wake up tomorrow with my life falling apart, I will not be a happy bunny. But for now, for the first time in a long time I’m very content and happy with my life and it’s a pretty fab feeling – I mean I’ll keep you updated if things change, but I bloody hope they don’t; if they could keep getting better that would be greatly appreciated.
All my love,