I’ve been putting of writing this post for about three weeks now, but I thought it was about time I updated you all on my absence, and also what on earth I’m doing with my life – because all of a sudden it’s taken a complete 360 turn, which is incredibly exciting, yet equally terrifying.
So I’ll start with the big bombshell, I’m dropping out of university. Yep, thats right, the girl who had her heart set on getting a degree since the age of about 5, is dropping out. I don’t think anyone – including myself saw that one coming. September last year, I started what I thought was what I wanted to get a degree in, Textile Design, but 6 months down the line, I’ve realised that maybe it isn’t for me.
Coming to terms with this, for me has been incredibly difficult, due to the fact I’ve always been the girl with a plan, yet all of a sudden I didn’t have a plan…this freaked the crap out of me.
I’m not sure what it is that I didn’t enjoy about my course, there was just something, and it didn’t feel right – I loved the work I was creating and I know it’s something I’m pretty good at, but I just wasn’t enjoying it; and thats okay. So while I’m still very young, with all my life ahead of me, I’ve decided to do something about it.
My interest within social media and the digital industry has grown massively since I started my little corner of the internet nearly a year ago, as it’s something I am passionate about and get a lot of enjoyment out of – this is the pathway I am going to go down. Coming to terms with the fact that I want to go into full time work and not university has been a massive struggle for me – primarily because I was so worried about what people were going to think of me, particularly my parents. Turns out they aren’t disappointed about me dropping out, they just want me to be happy, and to do something I enjoy. That just leaves everyone else, which in reality, what they think really doesn’t matter to me – I’m currently learning to be a bit selfish and not let other peoples opinions affect my happiness…
So now I’ve rambled on about my all over the place life, I thought I’d quickly brush over the other aspect as to why I’m moving back home. As I’ve mentioned before on the blog, I was studying at De Montfort University, based in Leicester…I’m from Brighton, thats a very long distance for a newly turned 18 year old to move to. At the time I was 99.99% certain that I could cope with the move, turns out I wasn’t. After the initial excitement of living on my own had warn off, I began to suffer with my mental health – it was a downwards spiral from there really. Back home I had the comfort of talking to someone who understood me when I was going through a rough patch, but in Leicester I didn’t have that and dealing with it on my own just wasn’t happening, no matter how hard I tried.
Moving back home is definitely the right thing for me to do; I can’t tell you how excited I am for what the next few months hold, and if I ever had a change of heart and wanted to continue my degree in a few years time I can, just right now, it isn’t for me, which is completely and utterly fine.