An Open Letter to my Future Self

Dear future Han, (written from 2017 Han),

2017 has been the year that shaped you into the best possible person you could be, it put you through some of the worst days, yet you also experienced some of the most incredible days too. I guess that’s the first lesson that 2017 taught you, that on the worst days, you always need to remember there are better ones to come. This is an open letter you, about all the shenanigans that 2017 had in store for you, how the year changed you and something to look back on in years to come.

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We’ll start with one of the most important things in your life, running. 2017 was the year you properly got your ass into gear, upped your training and ran faster than ever. This was the year you ran your first 10K race alone, without Dad, and completed it 48 minutes, your current race PB. Joined a running club, took part in training sessions that sometimes left you in tears, but it was all worth it, remember that. I hope your reading this years down the line, still a runner, never forget how much you love it.

Moving onto the music scene for 2017, the big artists of the year (that you had no interest in) consisted of people like Ed Sheeran, Drake, Post Malone (who?) and Sam Smith. None of these took your fancy, this was the year you started to develop your music taste, your favorite bands of the year were Blossoms and Viola Beach, you also took a liking to Liam Gallagher’s new album, you have Elliot to thank for that. Your soft spot for rap still never left though, you still waited up late to be the first to hear the new Eminem album.

You didn’t attend as many gigs as you had hoped this year; this is something that you should try to do more of in 2018, because I know how much you love them, the smaller bands are always the best. You saw Craig David with Soph at the start of the year, you wont say it aloud but you loved every second. You also attend Victorious festival with your family, a yearly tradition and had the time of your life singing to 90s classics, while drinking cider in a field full of like minded people.

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You worked your ass like never before when it came to college, you barely left the Mac suit, and spending hours and hours print designing. All of the hard work paid off because you left college with full marks and a Distinction, the stress and tears were all worth it.

August 2017 was the month you finally turned 18, the last of your friends to do so; you’ve always been the baby of the bunch. You had the best night out with your friends, got very drunk and danced until the early hours of the morning. Your 18th also marked the day you got your first tattoo, something you had wanted for years. You spent so much timing drawing your tattoo making sure it was perfect and it looked gorgeous by the end of it. This is when your love for tattoos took a new turn and you wanted countless different designs done.

Something that you did a lot more of in 2017 is read and I’m proud of you for doing this. 2016 you didn’t really make time for it, but this year you made sure that each evening you took some time to yourself to read. This was a really good way for you to switch off in the evening and also worked well to calm your anxiety, try to carry this on in 2018.

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You finally watched Gavin and Stacy, the last of your family to do so. It was a program you loved and never wanted to end. You should try and watch more box sets, and DVDs for that matter in 2018, then people might not look at you so strangely when you tell them you’ve never seen a massive blockbuster.

University was a massive learning curve for you. Moving out in September for the first time was something that at the beginning of the year seemed impossible. The first term was over as quick as it started, with a few tears, countless sketchbooks, multiple samples, an abundance of presentation boards, and only 1 hangover, I’m still amazed at how you managed this. You made some fab friends in the first couple of weeks, ones that I want you to make sure you always stay in touch with; you’ll thank yourself for it. You also only nearly set the kitchen on fire twice, that’s pretty impressive, for you. It taught you how to fend for yourself, make your voice heard, and also shaped you into an actual adult, though I know you didn’t feel like it.

2017 marked the year you FINALLY learnt your self worth. After a long 18 years, you learnt how you should be treated and not to settle for anything less. You’re worth more than someone who just wants you when it’s convenient for them, always remember this, its important.

Your biggest achievement of this year was learning how to deal with your mental health. At the start of the year, you were a mess; lets not beat around the bush. But as the year progressed you found ways to handle your anxiety and depression. If you ever forget what they were, they consisted of drawing, running, listening to music, and reading and long walks. Alongside this you also conquered your fear of foods, at the start of the year you were scared of anything with fat or sugar in it, you religiously counted your calories, you weren’t so bad at the end of the year, but its still something that you need to work on in 2018. Learn to enjoy food and not feel guilty for eating it, remember you’re a runner and you need your food, you know what happens otherwise.

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And then I guess that leaves us with your little blog. This was the year you started your blog, being very consistent with it throughout the first few months. Although you did neglect it slightly in when you started university, you finally learnt to balance blogging and studying towards the end of the year. Keep it up in the New Year; try to blog at least once a week, if not more.

2017 threw a whole bunch of emotions and challenges your way, plenty of tears, balanced out with plenty of laughs. You got through some of the darkest days where you were convinced you didn’t even want to live anymore, this I am proud of you for, because it was hard. You’ve laughed until your stomach hurt, made a rash decision to chop all your hair off, lost weight and got into the best shape of your life, not only this but you finished the year in the best head space of your life.

I hope you read this in the future and realise how far you’ve come. Enjoy 2018, make it your year, make time for all the things you love, see all the people you love, and fill it with happy memories.

Lots of love,

2017 Han xx

24 thoughts on “An Open Letter to my Future Self

  1. Hey Han, I just wanna say that your blog is so aesthetically pleasing to read. The way you write is so so lovely and conversational, it’s like I know you in person! I’ve started up my blog recently, perhaps we could be blogger friends?

    – M x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m not sure if I am just overly emotional tonight or what, but honestly I did shed a few tears. This is a beautiful letter and although I don’t know you, I feel as though I need to say, I am proud of the things you overcame! 2018 is going to be your best year and I can’t wait to follow your journey.

    A x

    Liked by 1 person

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