Lifestyle · Uncategorized

8 Life Lessons ‘Friends’ Taught Me

There’s 2 types of Friends lovers, the ones who watch it from time to time and call it one of their favourite shows and the ones who have watched it so many times over they know the plot to every episode and could most likely recite the majority of scenes. I’m the latter. Utterly obsessed, I treat my box set like a gift from god. It has made me laugh and cry, all whilst teaching me some lessons I will take with me through life.

Take Risks 

I think if there is one thing that we learnt from Rachel getting off the plane, it’s that life is short so take risks and live in the moment. Have some balls, if you think something feels wrong, do something to make it right, chances are it’ll work in your favour.

Think Before You Speak 

Some people pride themselves in having verbal diarrhoea but again if theres anything that Rachel taught us, is that this isn’t always a good thing. Remember the scene where she referred to her relationship with Palo as just ‘meaningless animal sex’; yeah, the shit that stirred up between Ross and her should be enough to make anyone remember to think before they speak.

To Not Care What People Think 

We have Phoebe to thank for this one. That time she took up jogging with Rachel…need I say more.

Never Get Drunk With Your Ex 

The trip to Vegas is a prime example here, with Ross and Rachel ending up married, drinking with your ex is never a good idea. Even if you don’t end up married, something will happen, guaranteed.

Never Cheat

There’s 2 types of people in this world, those who think Ross and Rachel were on a break and those who think they weren’t. 100% they weren’t on a break, even if they were I don’t think it was an excuse. Another thing, girls will always find out everything and I mean always – there really is no hiding.

Don’t Be Mean 

The people that bullied Monica throughout school because of her weight, once they came across her in later life they had a shock. Always be nice to people, you never know, they may crop up in later life having grown up well.

Real Love Will Always Find Its Way

Okay but how many relationships did both Ross and Rachel go through during the entirety of Friends all for them to end up always coming back together. If thats not a prime example of what will be will be, I don’t know what is.

Don’t Count To Mississippi 

Lastly, the iconic scene where Ross arrives home from the tanning salon, if it weren’t for this scene we’d all be clueless as to the fact you can’t count to Mississippi in a tanning booth, it won’t end well.

Also, lets not forget the only way to move a sofa? PIVOT.

Han xx

Lifestyle · Uncategorized

What Actually Is Anxiety?

A pain in the arse, thats what it is.

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I recently had a panic attack in front of someone who I hadn’t long met; I then had to attempt to explain to them what anxiety is and why I had just burst into an uncontrollable panic in front of them, not the easiest of tasks at the best of times, let alone in the circumstances that I was in. But in doing this I realised that despite mental health being much more widely spoken about, it’s still not a topic that everyone knows much about. It also made me realise how bloody hard it is to explain your mental state to someone without sounding crazy.

The actual definition of an anxiety disorder is “The feeling of unease such as worry or fear, that can be mild or sever”. The NHS compare it to that feeling of unease before an exam or interview, but for people with the disorder, its a constant feeling, that often affects their daily lives. Anxiety is a long term condition and it can often make you forget the last time you felt relaxed or at ease; because as soon as one anxious thought is resolved, another crops up, its a constant cycle – like a said previous a pain in the arse. 

My Dad has been my biggest help when it came to my anxiety and he has always described it to me as that little brother that you can’t get rid of. We compared it to the brother that is constantly doing something to irritate you and what do you do when that happens, well tell them to do one. Unfortunately, you can’t tell anxiety to just, do one, not in the simplest form anyway. The way I look at it, is I can either let it consume me and make my life completely miserable, which I’ve tried and tested and it was god awful. Or I can do something about it, I can tell it to do its worst, make me feel as bas as it possibly can, then prove it completely wrong. Ya know, actually live my life and not let it consume me. I admit, it isn’t always easy and some days I will literally just give up trying with it and sit about feeling sorry for myself, but let me tell you I’ll always feel better if I put up a bit of a fight and prove it wrong, I’m quite argumentative when I need to be, which comes in handy here.

Anxiety is often co-diagnosed with depression, which is how I was diagnosed, I won’t go too into detail about depression because I don’t really like looking too far into that. I’ve always been paranoid, although since being diagnosed with anxiety (which explains the paranoia)  I have learnt so much about myself and my capabilities. I guess in a weird way I have it to thank for making me realise how strong I am (cliche as it sounds), also how good I am at pulling myself out of depressive and anxious states. My anxiety is something that will always be there – there will be times when I barely notice it and I’m on top of the world, but then one trigger and it will be all I can think about. It’s constant ups and downs, realising that when I’m having a really rough couple of weeks, I will come up again, I think that is what has got me through the past couple of years, knowing it wouldn’t always be shit.

Like I said at the start, I have a very black and white way of looking at my mental health, which some people will disagree with, but I either let it consume me and make my life pretty crap or I don’t. I try to always choose the latter, I’ve found some amazing ways to combat my anxiety, which I have spoken about before. I primarily fight my anxiety with running and drawing, both these things let me escape for a while. I once saw a quote that said “running keeps me sane”, I think it was a joke type thing, but I honestly have running to thank for keeping me sane.

And on that note I think I’ll call it a day. Anxiety will always be a part of me, as much to my dismay, but its something that I am learning to control and combat day by day.

 

Han xx

Lifestyle · Uncategorized

A Look Back At January

Okay but in all seriousness how many months did January drag on for???

January always feels like the longest month, but this year, I’m not sure what it is, but it feels like it has dragged on even more than usual – and I’m so over it. I am desperate for the spring and summer months, with warmer weather and blue skies. I feel like I haven’t seen the sun for months; summer can’t come quick enough.

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At the start of the January, I promised my self that every month I would reflect over what had happened and what I had achieved, just so in the future I can look back at it. Also on the bad days it’ll make me realise it isn’t always bad.

So after 3 weeks back home, I arrived back at university on January 4th, full of excitement to start the new term. Quickly this excitement disappeared and I went through a very rough patch with my mental health. It was the worst it had been since I moved out and learning to deal with it solely on my own was so hard. Although my parents are only a phone call away, it’s not quiet the same. Nonetheless a few weeks of feeling particularly bad, towards the end of January I’ve started to feel myself again. Multiple people have said it’s nice to have the sarcastic Han back, so I must be getting better. Something that I am particularly proud of is not caving in and giving my head what it wanted, which was for me to be incredibly miserable, I powered on through, didn’t go home, got through a fairly shit time and came out the other end, a lot happier as well.

In terms of university work, I’ve started a new project choosing to focus it all around psychedelia (my favourite subculture…after mods) and also a completely new module focussed on fabric and colour technology – it’s very sciencey. Surprisingly I love the science side, it’s something I’ve taken a particular liking too and I quite like the idea of studying it further after my degree. Last term I handed in 3 different modules, 2 practical and one essay and in January I got my grades back for all of these, grades that I was ecstatic with. I worked my butt off for all those had ins, which payed off as I received 2 1st grades and also a 2:1.

January also saw me book my flat for next year, a very adult thing to do…I still don’t feel old enough to be doing this! I made the right choice to book a shared flat, in a place 2 minutes from town and a short walk from university. It’s a completely new complex with a cinema, study room, cafe and a gym, perfect.

Lastly, January saw me finally get back into blogging. I had sort of said at the end of last year I had really ben struggling to keep up with blogging, university, running and a social life, which meant blogging took a bit of a back seat. But since the new year I’ve just set myself a goal for 1 blog post a week and so far, so good, I’ve stuck to it and for the first time I’m really happy with the content I’m putting out. This also shows in my blog views which have sky rocketed, so this month has been good for that also! I had my first blogger event of the year too, a Kiehl’s beauty event, which was so much fun. I was seriously thinking about not going because of my anxiety, but it’s stopped me doing too much over the past couple of years, so I forced myself to go and conquer my anxieties, I’m very glad I did, as I met some lovely bloggers and had a fab time!

January for the most part was fairly rubbish, but as it draws to a close it is starting to pick up again, I just hope it continues to do so! Here’s hoping February holds slightly less tears and more blue skies, that’ll make me very happy I’m sure!

Han xx

Lifestyle · Uncategorized

5 Things Every Student Must Do In 2018

University is a time for personal, social and academic growth, it’s the only time in your life where its acceptable for you to leave the house for a 9AM still in your pyjamas (apparently thats frowned upon in the adult world?). With only 3 years to make the most of the full university lifestyle, I’ve complied a list of things that I think every student must do in 2018.

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1. Have your own ‘Come Dine with Me’ dinner party.

Me and my flatmate have an unhealthy obsession with Come Dine with Me, with frequent discussions of what dishes we would cook up if we were to have our own. I think this would be great fun, taking it in turns to cook up your favourite student meals – I mean this could potentially end up with you having beans on toast for your main, but its all part of the fun right?

2. Try out a new society or club

Every year, most freshers events have a day where you can go along to campus and have a mooch at all the societies that the university have available. Not only will trying out something new teach you something you’ve never done before, but it will also introduce you to an entirely new group of friends and social activities. I found settling into university particularly hard, but since I have joined the pole fitness society, I’ve made a bunch of new friends and also have been invited to many social activities, all while doing something good for myself!

3. Go on a night out sober

Okay, this might sound like madness, but hear me out. Like any first year student, I’ve been on my fair share of nights out that involve cheap drinks, having said this I’m not actually a massive drinker, so I’ve also been on a few nights out completely sober and let me tell you they are just as good, if not sometimes better than the ones when I’ve been drinking. Not only will you remember everything from the night out, but you’ll also wake up hangover free, give it a go, you might surprise yourself.

4. Have an elaborate picnic on the university green

Most universities have their own green spaces for students to sit and relax (admittedly no one in their right mind is currently using them in January) but when it comes to summer, make use of them! Get a group of your pals together, all bring a different picnic style food and enjoy the sun and the campus!

5. Make friends with someone from another country

Preferably a country you’ve never met anyone from before – if not any country will do. Not only will this give you a new friend, but it will also allow you to learn a whole array of things about their country and culture that you may not have known – it will open your eyes to the world, I’m sure of it.

I could go on for ages about things that I think all students must do this year, university is a time where there is so much pressure to do well, that I think it is important to take time out for yourself and do things like this to enjoy yourself, as thats also what university is about. Your university experience is what you make it and its only 3/4 years, so make the most of it!

What things do you think all students should do this year?!

Han xx

Beauty · Uncategorized

Kiehl’s Beauty Event

I’ve had a fairly rubbish start to January, just with my mental health not being where I want it to be, feeling homesick and just general January blues, so when Kiehl’s got in touch with me about attending a beauty event, I couldn’t have been happier. Something to look forward to and also hopefully get me out of the January blues and feeling a bit more motivated!

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So the event was primarily based around the products that Kiehl’s stock and their company history. Before attending, I had heard of the brand, but it is very much up market, so on a student budget, I’ve never been able to treat myself. Having said this I found out so much about general skincare and their products, that by the end of it I wish I had the money to just hand over my purse and take the whole range home!

It started off with a skincare routine using their products, some that really stood out to me and I’m sure will be added to upcoming wish lists of mine, was the Midnight Recovery Oil and also the Vitamin C Serum – proven to help with ageing, although I still have very young skin, the younger I can prevent ageing the better! We then went on to see what type of skin we all personally have. Prior to this event I was certain I had dry skin, but after a skin test it actually came up that I have dehydrated skin, which makes sense because I am terrible at drinking water.

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Kiehl’s are a company that are very proud of both their heritage and their use of natural ingredients. It’s a dermatologist recommended skincare brand – another reason why I was excited to be invited, as having very sensitive skin, I have to be incredibly careful with that products I opt to use; but with Kiehl’s being all natural and dermatologist approved, I’m luckily able to use them.

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All the bloggers that attended the event were lucky enough to receive a goody bag stuffed with miniature Kiehl’s goodies, including their best selling face cream which I cannot wait to try out! Not only this, but we also got given a set of herbal tea bags by Whittard, now if you know me well, it’ll come as no surprise that I got very very over excited by this, free tea, erm yes please!

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Overall I had a fabulous time, it was a brilliant first event of 2018 and I have also been invited to their launch party for a selection of new products next month, which I’m already excited about!

Han xx

Lifestyle · Uncategorized

25 Things Before I’m 25

One thing I am continually told is how aspirational I am, there is so much I want to achieve and experience over the coming years. I am currently sat writing this aged 18 (and 5 months) – those 5 months make all the difference, promise, with my whole life ahead of me. Turning 18 means that I am now an actual adult (how was that allowed to happen), but it also means that a whole new world of opportunities have been opened up for me. I no longer need permission to do anything, no longer need to travel with an adult, because I apparently I am one, I can do it all by myself, how exciting yet absolutely terrifying – I can literally do whatever I want, within reason of course.

That being said, I thought it would be a good idea for me to make a list of all the things I want to achieve and experience before I turn 25. I hope I am sat reading this in 7 years time having done everything on this list. So hola there future Han, I hope you’ve had the most amazing 7 years packed with exciting trips, experiences, embarrassing moments, laughs, and not too many tears (incase you had forgotten, 18 year old you shed too many tears and you vowed to not get upset over people that weren’t worth it).

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1) Girls Holidays 

Something that I think everyone should do at some point in their lives is a girls (or boys) holiday. I want to make sure I go on multiple girls holidays, try at least one a year, that may be  a bit optimistic, but its worth a shot.

2) Festivals 

love festivals, the best weekends of my life have been weekends spent drinking in fields listening to my favourite bands. I want to make sure that I go to at least 1 weekend festival every year too, even if they are the smaller ones, sometimes they’re the best ones.

3) Edinburgh Christmas Markets 

This may potentially seem like a really weird one, but I am a sucker for a good christmas market, nothing like sipping hot chocolate (or mulled wine if your tastebuds are sophisticated enough for that, mine definitely aren’t), while wandering around christmassy stalls. I’ve always seen so many pictures of Edinburgh at Christmas and it looks so festive, so thats somewhere on my list of places to visit.

4) Zip World Penrhyn Quarry 

Although I’m not a fan of heights, I really really really want to do the fastest Zip wire in the world, I recon it would be a pretty amazing experience.

5) Learn to Say No 

I’m the worst person when it comes to saying no to things that I don’t want to do, its almost like I don’t even know how to say the word. Hopefully by 25 I would have learnt that it’s okay to say no if I don’t want to do something and I shouldn’t feel bad for that.

6) Be More Spontaneous 

I’m not great at this, I normally like to have a complete plan when it comes to going out and doing things, I’d like to let get out of this comfort zone and do things without always thinking too much into it, planning it too much.

7) Go to America 

I’ve wanted to go to America for as long as I can remember, I’ve always said I’ve wanted to live there, but with there political system in absolute shambles, I don’t think that will be happening any time soon. But I definitely want to visit it, preferably either LA or New York.

8) Have a Weekend in Venice 

Ideally spent with my other half (any volunteers, hola me). Venice is another place I’ve always wanted to visit, I think its one of those places that I would only like to spend a weekend in though.

9) New York, Paris & Milan Fashion Week 

I studied Fashion and Textiles at college and am now specialising in Textile design, so I am a bit of a fashion hoe. Year on year I sit watching all the fashion weeks wishing I was there, so by the time I’m 25 I want to have been to these at least once.

10) Sign Up to a Gym

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, my heart will forever lie in running, but I’ve also wanted to start weight lifting for a while now. I mean with a dodgy back and knees it probably isn’t my best move, but I want to give it a go for sure.

11) Have Ran a Half and Be Training for a Full

That’s in regards to a marathon, incase you were wondering. While I’m young I want to focus on getting fast and hitting new PBs, but by 25 I want to be getting in the longer distances and by then my body should be ready for a full marathon, something I have always wanted to do.

12) Host My Own Dinner Party 

All of my friends will vouch for me when I say this, but I am utterly obsessed with Come Dine With Me and I’ve always wanted to host my own dinner party like Come Dine With Me, I mean I don’t know how well it would end, because I’m not a great cook, but I think it will be a laugh.

13) Try Being a Veggie 

Countless times have I said I am going to go vegetarian and countless times have I let myself down and not done it, don’t know what it is but I just can’t stick to it. Despite this, I want to give it a proper shot at some point.

14) Take a City Break Alone 

Take some time for myself, visit a city that I have always wanted too and explore it all on my own.

15) Stop Letting People Walk All Over Me 

I’m writing this as I have just been made a mug of once again (by ‘friends’), I refuse to let it keep happening, so by the time I hit 25 I refuse to let anyone walk all over me, and take me for a complete mug. It isn’t fair and I’m worth more than that.

16) Watch More Movies 

I always dread conversations when they turn to movie talk, because I have barely seen any movies ever and people always seem to judge me hard for that. So I’m going to at least try to watch some movies that I’m pretty sure I definitely should have seen by now.

17) Read More Books 

It calms your anxiety, will broaden your knowledge and writing skills, do I need any more reasons to do more of it? No, I think not.

18) Get My Dream Job

Still not entirely sure what that is yet, but by 25 I want to be well on my way to either having or getting my dream job within the Textiles Industry.

19) Teach Myself a New Language 

I’ve also said this for the longest time, I need to stop just saying it and actually do it. Not entirely sure what language I want to learn yet, but I think being able to speak another language is so cool and always an interesting talking point.

20) Dinner In The Sky

I think this will be a really cool date idea (any volunteers, swing my way), but dinner in the sky looks like the most amazing experience, not if you’re terrified of heights though, you probably wouldn’t like it.

21) Have My Own House or Flat 

Depending on where I’m living at 25 will depend on whether I have a house or flat, but by this age I want to have my own place that I can call mine. This may be hard work, but I’m willing to give it a go.

22) Learn to Surf 

I have wanted to learn to surf since I was about 10, so I think its about time I gave it a go, I know I’ll love it, I’ve just never got round to doing it before.

23) Try 10 New Restaurants I’ve Always Wanted to Go To 

Note to self, they aren’t allowed to be Italian. I love my Italian food, when I go out to eat, 9 times out of 10 it will be Italian food, so I need to get out and try new restaurants, places that I’ve always wanted to go to.

24) Teach Myself Photography (again)

I started to teach myself photography at about 13, but then for some reason got out of the habit of it, I recently picked it up again and had forgotten how much I love it. Don’t give it up this time.

25) Start Earning From Tattoo Design 

I’ve been tattoo designing for about a year now, but I am far to scared to start earning commission from them incase people don’t like them. I’ve so far stamped 4 people with my creations. So I want to get the confidence to start earning from my designs, because they are good enough.

Wow thats a lot for me to achieve over the next 7 years, best get going.

What are your goals for the coming years?

Han xx

Lifestyle · Uncategorized

Sticking To New Year Goals

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So the festive season is well and truly over, the sequin dresses and festive decorations have all been packed away for another year. All thats to show for it is the left over glitter which we will probably still be clearing up well into February, saying we’re never using anything glittery again, but come December this is completely forgotten and out the glitter comes, once more! The New Year, for a lot of people marks a completely clean slate, I’m not a fan of the whole “New Year new me” outlook, but if thats your cup of tea then I am by no means judging you for it.

Despite this I do jump on the band wagon of New Years resolutions, or goals, as I like to call them. I feel like goals sounds better if I don’t stick to them. Judging by my recent twitter feed, most of the people on there are already struggling with sticking to their goals – admittedly I am too, hence why I am writing this, something for me to look back on. So how do we become that person that casually manages to stick to all their goals with no struggle at all?

Be Realistic

I think most people, including myself, always make the first mistake of setting unrealistic goals. Expecting to achieve everything I want all in the first week of January, eat healthy lose weight, love myself more, all of that crap, all while still scoffing leftover christmas chocolates and shortbread wondering why I don’t look like a Victoria Secret model yet. Setting realistic goals and realistic time frames will make obtaining your resolutions approximately 173563 times easier.

Be Specific 

Be more specific you are with what you want to achieve and exactly when you want to achieve it by. I find having time frames so helpful, mainly because I work harder for my goals when I have a particular time to reach it by. I’ll also feel disappointed if I don’t do what I want by the time I’ve set myself, so I guess thats another incentive.

Focus On Progress

This has been something I have lived by for a while now. No one and I mean no one will ever reach all of their goals right away, not even the people that look like they do – it’s just for show. It’s important to focus on how your progressing and not getting too hung up on the end goal – this will come in time. When I took up running I quickly learnt this, I wanted to be as fast as I could right away; pretty sharpish I realised that that would take work and time, which is exactly when I started to focus on my progress.

Make Your Goals Known

I’ve never really been one to tell people what I want to achieve throughout the course of the year, primarily out of fear of not achieving them – which is exactly why this year I have written and entire blog post on them. Now everyone knows what I want to do, so I’ll be much more likely to reach them and not let myself down.

Be Personal 

Think about what is important to you and why you want to get it done. For example one of my goals for this year is to run a sub 46 minute 10K, a personal one to me, because I have been training so hard lately, it will feel amazing if all the hard work pays off. Everyones personal goals are different, it helps if you don’t follow the generic lose weight and eat healthy resolution, because chances are you’ll be craving chocolate cake 2 days in, and lets face it, you don’t really want to deprive yourself like that.

We’re 2 weeks down, with another 50 to go, who knows whether or not I’ll reach all my goals, only time will tell!

What are your New Year goals?!

Han xx

Beauty · Uncategorized

The Body Shop – Japanese Cherry Blossom Review

Well it has been a hot minute since I have done a product review – having been at university, leaving me a with a tragic student budget, I’ve not really been able to treat myself to some new products to test. For Christmas I always tend to receive some new smellies (something I’ll never get bored of) and this year was no exception.

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I have grown up using Body Shop products, they were and still are the brand that I forever swear by when it comes to skincare and smellies. Growing up, as a child I suffered with quite bad eczema, which luckily isn’t so bad now that I am slightly older, but when I was younger my skin reacted to almost every product under the sun, apart from Body Shop products – I’m still unsure why this is, its probably primarily down to the natural ingredients that the company use, either way I’ve used a whole range of their products ever since I can remember.

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One of my all time favourite body care ranges from The Body Shop, is their Japanese Cherry Blossom range, which when my Mum worked for them I had a constant supply of, but ever since she changed companies, I’ve not been so fortunate. This is one of them smells that I smell and it instantly reminds me of my child hood and happy memories, I think this might be why I love it so much – also why I was so pleased to open the Japanese Cherry Blossom gift set on Christmas Day this year. Having not had it for a few years, I opened it and was so ecstatic, my Mum remembered how much I loved this scent, also how much it means to me – so many memories came flooding back when I smelt it again.

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We’ll start with the packaging. Body Shop always have the most beautiful packaging and product designs. Their ranges are always so simply designed, but the designs are always so effective. The Japanese Cherry Blossom range is pink and white, nothing screams my name more. With a lovely floral pattern, on the packaging also, so pretty and simply designed. I think that often companies can think too far into packaging and as much as I am always interested in new, innovative and interesting packaging designs, its often quite nice to keep it fairly simple and clean.

Then the product scent itself, I could go on about for days, its a smell that I will never get bored of and if Body Shop would like to give me a never ending supply of the stuff I would be forever grateful. Now I am the worst at smelling scents, I mean I’ll give it a go, but I may butcher it and put you off it forever. Its a very clean, floral, smell with a subtle musky hint to it – thats as good as the scent describing is going to go, I suggest when you next past a Body Shop store you give it a smell – thank me later.

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The Body Shop are against animal testing and also a vegetarian friendly brand and something that I want to work on throughout 2018 is using more cruelty free beauty products. They also have a great policy/manifesto named ‘Enrich Not Exploit’, which if you want to read more on you can do so here So not only do The Body Shop produce my favourite scent of all time and a whole range of products that don’t irritate my sensitive skin, but they also have good values, what more could you want from a company!

Han xx

Lifestyle · Uncategorized

2018 Goals

So that’s it, 2017 is over. The year that I have simultaneously been living my best and worst life and its all been a very odd sensation – if you want to read more about the shenanigans that 20017 held for me, take a look at this post HERE. I’m never really one to make New Years resolutions as such, because like 99% of the population, I won’t stick to them, at least I’ll admit that. Saying this, I do have a few goals for 2018, whether I’ll achieve them or not is a different question, but lets start how we mean to go on, right?!

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PICK UP MY CAMERA MORE

I used to be very much into my photography and I actually got pretty good at it, then life just sort of got in the way and my camera got neglected a little bit. I’m hoping that my blog will be a good incentive for upping my photography, because I then have an aim in mind of where my pictures are going – also knowing that other people are going to see them will make me, make more of an effort, or at least I hope so.

WORK ON MY MENTAL HEALTH

Although 2017 marked the start of me mentally getting better, I’m hoping to continue this throughout 2018, because my mental health is still miles away from where I would like it to be. At the start of 2017 I would only leave my house for college and work, but I ended the year having the best social life and having moved out, so thats just proof that I can get better and I am, I just need a bit more work on it.

RUNNING GOALS

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while will know that I’m a runner, throughout 2018 there are a few running goals that I’m hoping to achieve. The first one to be run my first 10K race in sub 47 minutes, I’ve already ran it in 46 minutes, but that was just in training and not a race, so this year I want to run it in a race so it official. Not only this, but I’m going to run my first half marathon. Notice how I said going and not hoping to. This has been something that I’ve wanted to do since I started running 2 years ago, so now I’m old enough, it’s going to happen this year.

STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK

One of my worst traits is that I am always so ridiculously paranoid about what other people think of me, also that they are always thinking the worst of me. In reality why should I give a fuck about what someone else thinks of me, as long as I’m happy, then lets face it, other peoples opinions really are irrelevant.

SEIZE EVERY OPPORTUNITY

Over the past couple of years, where I’ve been suffering with my mental health, I’ve turned down so many opportunities, the majority of them social events and 2018 is going to be the year that I make up for this. I want to vow to myself that I’m going to take every opportunity that comes my way, whether that be social or not, take it and roll with it, start living.

LEARN TO COOK BETTER

Funnily enough I’m actually a really good cook, but ever since I moved out to university, I would be lying if I told you the majority of my diet wasn’t just pasta and green tea. It’s surprising I’m yet to turn into a fusilli twist if I’m completely honest. This year I’m going to make sure I start to cook myself actual dinners that aren’t just pasta with alternating sauces. Although I’m sure pesto pasta will still be a weekly occurrence, I’m not ready to give that one up just yet.

BLOG AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK

When I moved out in September and started university, my blog very much got neglected as I simply just couldn’t balance it. But this year I want to try my best to balance it, and blog at least once a week if not more. I think once a week is a reasonable goal that I can achieve, it also means I’m not putting myself under too much pressure with blogging, because when that happens I sort of lose my love for it, which I don’t want to happen.

PUT MYSELF FIRST

I have a real tendency to always put other peoples happiness before my own, which I mean isn’t always a bad thing, but I think it has sometimes been detrimental to my own happiness. This year I want to make sure that I’m happy, to do more of what makes me happy and to take time for myself. I think this is something I was terrible at throughout last year, I thought I constantly had to be  a busy little bee, leading to me rarely taking time out for myself and my metal wellbeing. This year I need to do more of this, have at least one evening a week to myself, off social media – doing things that make me happy.

FINISH 1ST YEAR WITH AT LEAST A 2:1

My goal has always been to graduate my 3 years of university with a First Class degree, so if I can finish of my first year with a 2:1 that will mean I am on the right track and I will be immensely happy with this.

 

GET MYSELF DOWN TO THE GYM

This isn’t really one at the forefront of my mind because its not like I’m doing it to lose weight, more so to just try something new. My heart lies in running and probably always will do, but theres no harm in giving the gym a go too and seeing whether it takes my fancy as much as running does.

MAYBE LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE

I say maybe because if I’m entirely honest the chances of this happening are fairly slim, but its a goal of mine, so why not chuck it on here too. For the longest time now I’ve said I’ve wanted to learn Mandarin, don’t ask why, I’ve just really wanted too. Saying this, I’ve always loved the sound of Spanish and Italian, so we’ll see what takes my fancy, I’ll be sure to keep you updated on my progress with this one.

So thats my goals for 2018, like I say whether I actually achieve them is anyones guess, but I’m quite a determined and head strong person, so I’d like to think I will achieve them, I’ll be sure to keep you in the know about it all. I’ll probably do a post at the end of the year reflecting on whether I’ve actually completed them all or not, but thats far too far in the future for me to think about.

Happy New Year,

Han xxx

Lifestyle · Uncategorized

A Look Back at 2017

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2017 started off for me, cuddled up on the sofa with my dog – having turned down all New Years Eve social shenanigans because of my anxiety, and well I could think of a million other ways that I would have rather it started. Had you had told me back then, that 12 months down the line I would have moved out, started university, conquered some of my biggest anxieties, learnt to deal with various mental health issues, and run 10k in 47 minutes, I never would have believed you, yet here I am doing all these things.

The end of 2016 was when I finally opened up to my Dad about my mental health, which marked the start of me getting help, so the start of 2017, began with my mental health possibly the worst its ever been, and various different doctors appointments that confirmed what I already knew. Although these appointments, to me were a waste of time because, I didn’t want counseling (I don’t open up to anyone), and I also didn’t want to go on medication, as Dad and I had agreed this definitely wasn’t the right path for me.

I spent the first 4 months completely shutting myself of from most things, and just immersing myself in my college studies, which granted paid off, but it wasn’t healthy. I only saw my best friend Soph and would more thank likely turn down most social outings, so essentially I missed out on a lot at the start of the year. It wasn’t until April that something finally clicked and I decided I needed to get sorted, the way I was living was no fun, I was in a constant state of anxiety, and this mixed with depressive thoughts was no life to lead.

2 years ago I started up running, to begin with it was to help me let out my anger as to something that had happened a few months prior, but I quickly learnt that this helped my mental health massively, so I upped my training greatly, and pushed myself to lengths I never thought I would be able to, and this made me feel amazing. It’s a big statement to make but running essentially saved me and kept me sane.

Where I had upped my training, started to eat better, and began to notice a difference both physically, and mentally, this was when my year did a complete 360. I figured that if I could push myself to new extremes with training, then I could challenge my anxiety too. Slowly but surely I started to gain back my social life, immerse myself in college work in a much healthier and less obsessive way, and basically say a big fuck you to anxiety.

I started up my blog, another way for me to vent, and also calm me when I am anxious, attended festivals and gigs, ran some of my best PBs and left college with full marks and a distinction. August quickly rolled round, I turned 18, got my first tattoo, and had the most amazing night out with all of my friends, stumbling in at 3AM to drunkenly make toast and tell my dog how much I loved her – something I never would have dreamed of doing at the beginning of the year.

Then I guess what I would class as my biggest achievement so far; I moved out (3 hours from home) and started university, something that at the beginning of the year, I couldn’t see myself doing. Don’t get me wrong, I still get my fair share of rough days, and I am by no means completely cured, but I’m a hell of a lot better than what I was, I’ve also found ways in which I can help my mental health on the not so good days. Since September I have been introduced to some of the most amazing people, and have had the time of my life.

And that brings us to now. So what started off as a fairly dire year, ended on a much higher note, with less anxiety, less depression and much more happiness. I’m a completely different person to what I was 12 months ago, (get ready for the cringe) but in a way I have my mental health to thank for getting me to where I am today.

Here’s to 2018,

Han xx